grace in small things: nineteen

getting desperate, so here we go:

5. 18 more days until I am free from the job.

4. My roommate’s parents bought a kickass apt downtown and we will be moving 1.1 miles away from my new job. SCORE.

3. Sleeping in until 10 on a workday.

2. Finishing the box of cereal. Milk makes my stomach hurt.

1. New work clothes shopping in approx. 4 days. Whoo hoo!

ignoring you, ignoring me

I have been ignoring the blog. Not sure why, but it seems like the cool thing to do (Ben, Julie, & Jersey Girl) At least they came out of their droughts gracefully. I cannot say the same for myself.

A few things have been on my mind.

One: Refuses and I: not made for each other, not lasting past August. Still gonna hurt, though.

Two: Salads have never looked more unappealing, despite delicious looking dressing. blah.

Three: College would be easy. Can I go back?

Four: I wish I could save some money. I need a non-bias third party to look at my finances and make me a budget. I spend money on stupid shit, and need to pay off those credit cards. Thanks Obama for helping me with SOMETHING.

Five: My life has never looked better so I am pretty much preparing for the worst.

Six: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU ASK SO MANY QUESTIONS?

Seven: Has anyone ever taken a self-defense class? That is something I would like to check off my list.

Eight: To go or not to go the blogger meet up in June. I haven\’t registered, I can\’t find a cheap enough fare, but I feel like all you 20SB people are just what I need. Anyone going from San Diego?

Nine: 19 more days left until this hell hole of a job is over and I get to start my new one.

Ten: I feel better already. Thanks, Internets.

Serving my sentence

I GOT THE EFFING JOB.

This is seriously dream job status. Remember when I wrote the cover letter? Turns out it was a keeper. Could you picture me waiting in agony to find out if I got it? Turns out it was worth it.

Now, if only I didn’t have to serve my 30 days notice for my current job and I would be set. But, alas, I am a better person than that, so I show up all day and pretend to work.

26 days and counting.

Easy Easter

It pretty much didn’t happen. Other than my roommate going to brunch and me swinging by my moms to say hi, it went unnoticed.

Refuses left for the weekend- which left me to be normal again. Because lets face it, when you are in a relationship you spend your time differently.

Oh so I told my mom about us. Not too much, because she has a habit of stalking people and ruining everything. It was getting to the point where I thought someone not in my family would mention him, and she would be hurt I hadn’t told her I was dating anyone.

So I told her. First name only. Still in school. Majoring in Mechanical Engineering.

And instead of saying, “Oh, that sounds great” she half-laughed and projected every single failed relationship she has ever had on to my brand new, shiny boyfriend.

She said, “Mechanical engineers? I know all about them. They can be charming (wtf?). Lets write down a list of qualities and when you two are done I can pull it out and tell you that was going to happen.”

Then she said she is going to buy the Steve Harvey book on dating for me and my sister. Hmm. Thanks Mom, DID I NOT JUST TELL YOU I WAS DATING SOMEONE? Why am I automatically doing it wrong?

So I called her out on it. Said, “Why can’t you just say that’s nice?” She claimed to be “joking.”

She did the exact thing I thought she would, all the way down to the order of the words coming out of her mouth. And she wonders why I never tell her stuff? I waited 5 months to tell her about this one, and I can guarantee it will be much longer before I tell her about the next, if I tell her at all.

Social Media and Angel in a Tundra

I was getting on the freeway today. Hit a wet spot and let my car drive itself up the embankment to my right. With my right back tire in the air, and my car teetering towards the driver’s side, I carefully climbed out, taking my phone with me, and cried my way through the AAA prompts in order to get a tow truck.

All this, while canceling lunch with my mother (she forgot) and cursing my Dad for not answering his phone when I needed him. Looking at my truck, I knew it didn’t need a tow. My dad could fix this with his bare hands.

But there I was. A girl, crying on the side of the freeway. Helpless- and scared my car would tip over if I tried anything stupid.

Then my angel arrived- and by angel I mean a sweaty, attractive, thirty-ish year old man in a Toyota Tundra. He came armed, with out wings, but with a tow rope.

So I climbed in my car, turned the wheel as instructed (WHERE DO BOYS LEARN THESE THINGS?) and he backed me out of my teetering hell. I hugged him goodbye just as the AAA tow truck showed up, hugged him too, and drove off.

I am currently looking for someone who needs a good Samaritan. I am available, willing, and have a debt to pay.

I am off to a social media conference tomorrow. 100 buckaroonies and I will be networking with people in the industry whom I truly admire. Wish me luck. What to wear? What to wear? and I have NO business cards left. LAME.

finals

I am in the final considerations for that job I applied to. I had two stellar references call on my behalf, an awesome phone interview, a semi-okay actual interview and most recently sent them my references.

I am being judged under a microscope and am busily waiting to hear back. I have a bottle of champagne waiting for me if I get it, and about 8 other listings waiting to be replied to when I don’t.

This is dream job status in an industry I am dying to get into. I have been wishing, moody and contemplative for 2 weeks now and am ready for this to be over, assuming it ends with me getting an offer.

Vegas seems so long ago, but Vegas was where Refuses and I first got to celebrate the interview. I am open to getting this. I earned it. Played my cards right and am working my bootie off to send positive vibes out into the world, in hopes that I get some positive phone calls later this week.

Wish, hope and dream for me.

anger builds

I would like to think that this hurt is different. That it will be less because I was prepared, because I knew it was just “practice” before going into it.

I would like to think that you are different. That you want to sleep with me, and time can be wasted because we are together. I need to know I am not your convenience. I have been there, and never have I felt so under appreciated.

I know we are temporary, and I will oblige. But my feelings are in this.

I’ll follow you out of the dark

I am coming out of hiding and so should you.

I would, however love to know where everyone is from that reads this blog.

So delurk, and tell me where you are from and why you love me.