jinx or hex…

20 Feb

… but either way it was bound to be fucked up before it even started. all because of this.

01.05.08

So I am a little scared to do this. It seems that every time I get into it with anyone and then I start writing it is doomed to fail because I am inevitably telling my computer or journal instead of telling my partner or seeking advice from friends. It also leads to fovever-doomed over thinking. Go figure. I am a month into this and I am over thinking.

So I am also a little scared because I am so quickly falling back into the old me. I am becoming the girl that will do anything for two seconds of feeling loved. It is an addiction and is my vice. I cannot believe it. Where did all rational thought go? And all for I guy that I think I am smarter than and that I think wont go anywhere with.

Who knows though. I don’t want to give up on him yet, seeing how my past strategies didn’t exactly work. Maybe he is perfect for me?

And here we are, I am writing about it and ruining it. Someone come save me from being the girl that I used to be.

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