The Bermuda Triangle

3 Jul

The Bermuda Triangle of my life is the time between 8:13 and 8:49 am. It sneaks up on me every morning and I can never seem to leave the house anytime in between. Those passing minutes are like a woven finger trapper- the harder you try the harder it is to get out.

The only things that surface in those mystery minutes are Julie’s emails (oh, how I love the time difference!). They arrive in the wee morning hours, as silently and shockingly as a guy jonesing for morning sex, so he just pokes his piddlywink* in between your legs, as if to say “Uh, Do you know who I am? How are you not awake yet?”

I have a hunch Julie is privy to classier forms of bedroom behavior, and something tells me she prefers more foreplay. In that case, please accept the comparison with regards to her estimated email arrival time, and not her actual sex life.

Much like in life, I know it is there, but I simply pull the covers in closer and sleep for another ten minutes.

Although excited, I would rather save up all the love and savor it later, when I am awake and can fully enjoy it. Plus, it is something to look forward to once I get to work (the returning the email part, not the pokey penis part).

So I leave late for work EVERY DAY. My forty-minute commute isn’t getting any easier, although when I used to have to be at work at 8 am, I rarely had a problem. I do the same hair deal, the same make-up routine (although, I currently stop to savor my butter face (no, not butterface), as this is amazing stuff**) and I still cannot get out the door.

Where does the time go?

*hey, if I receive a legit text with “poophead,” I can most certainly use piddlywink- although the term is not recommended for bedroom banter.

** I am sure it is made with something horrific like puppy dog tails and the hearts of unicorns, but it feels so good! No worries, I only have a sample, so I will soon be switching to Philosophy’s Hope in A Jar (also a sample – one of the many joys of being a broke twenty-something with dry skin).

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2 Responses to “The Bermuda Triangle”

  1. Julie July 3, 2008 at 9:32 am #

    My Bermuda Triangle is between 8:27 and 8:48 – but you’re still sleeping then…

    Also – I don’t know if you can use the word “classy” when talking about my bedroom behavior… hahahahaha… a lady in the street but a freak in the bed 😉

  2. busypretending July 3, 2008 at 9:34 am #

    I figured as such, but I wasn’t going to be the one to say it.

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