Just plain mad

8 Jul

eww. Some days, even the internet can’t fix it.

I was doing so well today. It was kickball day. And then we lost in the bottom of the last inning, because I DIDN’T CATCH THE BALL. Seriously, ME, one play, all fucked up. Pretty effing classic.

So I went to the gym buzzed and ran to my most maddening songs. Because I was mad. Mad that he didn’t text me today (seriously, like that’s going to happen), mad that I gave him a month of me. A whole month! I still can’t believe it. For two days of fun, I spent a good number of days worried and sick to my stomach waiting. Mad because his roommates hung out with him all weekend (ya, I know, I would classify that as jealous too.) Mad someone was moving on with life and I am here, being all mad.

And all I can think is, “Go on, throw all the fun away.” over and over. Why would you do that? Who does that?

Then I remember it wasn’t fun. There are 2 days out of 30 that were fun, and here I am still mad, throwing all of my own fun away. I am mad that I was suprised. Mad that I was secretly waiting for something to happen. Like it wasn’t over yet.

PLEASE, DEAR GOD, LET THE MADNESS END.

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2 Responses to “Just plain mad”

  1. freeandflawed July 9, 2008 at 1:18 pm #

    I’m sorry 😦 Boys are stupid.

  2. busypretending July 11, 2008 at 6:27 pm #

    Thank you.

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