spazola

11 Sep

Pretty much the definition of me the past few days. Too nervous, busy and anxious to write, even. AND YOU ARE MY OUTLET. How is that possible?

So I may or may not have had a job interview. And it may or may not have gone ridiculously well. Which may or may not have led to me completely overreacting, rethinking every third word that came out of my mouth.

I did well. I was nervous walking in, then owner man said “We want you to be comfortable, this is a conversation.”

So I was comfortable, and I made them laugh right off the bat. But as it kept going on I was getting excited, because it was going so well. And me excited, is A LOT (as opposed to a little) intimidating. Not a good look on anyone, I promise.

I was listening. And pausing before I spoke. I was constantly telling myself, “Just shut up and listen.” I was animated and honest.

So we moved on and I was poignant at times and overzealous at others.

Then it ended. Too quickly. There was someone after me. Thank God her argyle sweater vest was heinous.

Then I was on top of the world. I nailed it. The only thing that will stop me is if someone who has more experience or is *gulp* MELLOW.

Because, let’s face it, I am not.

I’ll find out by the end of the week, he said.

In the meantime, my head sounds something like this: Did I talk to much? Should I have not used my hands? Why did I not answer that question that way? I think I did okay. I really want this job. Am I right for this? I hope he calls. I thought he would have called today. Did I not get it? What if I get it?

So my head will need a vacation after tomorrow, because waiting for a phone call from a potential employer is no easier than waiting for a phone call from a boy.

BUT I CAN FEEL IT. I am on the edge of something great. I can do this. This is me.

At the very least, I applied and interviewed and have another experience under my belt. I can do it again.

I can do this (even though my mental-state hates me or it).

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