16 Dec

Mini Nervous Breakdown

I have never had a real one (thank GOD!) but last Saturday I canceled all plans in order to freak out about applying for an internship.

Then promptly found out 12 hours later that I didn’t get it.

Go Me.

I have always been a procrastinator, always waiting until the final hour to start (let alone, finish) something.
Recently, I have been on a mission (somewhat delayed, due to the aforementioned habit) to figure out what I want to do with my life, apply to some amazing opportunities and while waiting to hear from those, apply to others. I was determined to get my act together, convinced that I have amazing ideas that I can bring to life.

But instead of harnessing the motivation inside me, I put it off, went out with friends, and thought of anything else but what I wanted to make of myself.

I am not that kind of a person. I see myself as a doer. I was always on the other side, I was the one that stepped up, led the group, or did a better job than most. I never seemed able to sit back when it really mattered.

And here, with an opportunity that I thought would be one of the keys to my future, I slacked.

So I stayed up all night to finish it, and still probably turned it in late.

But I did it.

Does it matter in the end? No, but it did wake me up to what I was doing and it did get my ass in gear.


One Response to “MNBD”

  1. Rachel December 16, 2008 at 2:40 pm #

    Hey, at least you’re getting yourself out there! Things work out in the end and I truly believe there’s nothing lost by trying – keep at it!

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