I am here, in today, and worked out and sang and made fabric-covered buttons. FABRIC-COVERED BUTTONS.
I was driving today, and I realized that it was the first time in a long time that I had said out loud “I miss him.”
Instead of being sad or disappointed that the thought crept up, I was excited that so much time had past, elated that the thought made me realize how proud I am of myself.
I may not have loved him outwardly, to my friends or family, but I showed him time and time again. The opportunity presented itself to be special to someone, to be my best self for myself and for someone else. AND I DID.
Reluctantly, but I did. I came around. I was hurt too. I didn’t go, I stayed, and I was me the whole time.
He may not have been forever, but I didn’t really need him to be. I need me to be me forever, and right now, I really like that person.