little one

19 Oct

the littlest big things you don’t know about me:

  1. My youngest sister passed away when I was 10. She was 4 years old and died of brain cancer.
  2. My parents divorced shortly after.
  3. I lie all the time and say that I only have 2 brothers and a sister, although I really had 2 sisters. It still feels like a lie 13 years later.
  4. I miss her a lot, and still talk to her every once in a while.
  5. I believe in heaven and angels, if only for her.
  6. When I was younger I used to talk to her nightly, and pretended she was in guardian angel school, training to be someone else’s guardian angel.
  7. I have trouble imaging what it would have been like to have her when we were being shuttled between my parent’s houses in the midst of the divorce. I can’t decide if it would have been better or worse.
  8. We used to write a note, tie it to balloons and let it go every year on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. Some years were harder than others.
  9. I can’t imagine what my parent’s must have felt. They must have wanted to die themselves.
  10. I still get envious when I hear my friends talk about younger siblings that would be the same age as her. They have no idea how much it stings.
  11. She would have turned 19 years old last month.
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One Response to “little one”

  1. IntrigueMe October 20, 2009 at 9:22 am #

    That is really sad. I wonder how much that contributed to your parents divorce. Ya never know what life’s gonna hand ya! Regardless- it’s good you hold on to her memory 🙂

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