It appears that you and I have reached an understanding. I eat well, live well, and, well, am just overly nice to you, and you seem to have returned the favor by being so well behaved. Gold star for you.
Our agreement seems to be working out nicely, you provide a (teeny) urge to run rather frequently, and I change into those workout pants. Then you make my legs go. I love that feeling, and the view at Sunset Cliffs, so thank you. Also, I get the time to clear my head when it comes to other areas of my life where an understanding has not yet been reached between me and the world, like love, dating, and finances.
Our greatest achievement would have to be the no scale concept. Without that little (or big) number taunting me, I am able to treat you with a little more love and a whole lot more consistency. Plus, like I honestly don’t know when I am having a fat day? Not weighing myself means I am no longer fighting against the scale, but working with you to take baby steps toward the body I love.
Oh, and the understanding of the two week delay. Because we understand each other, and I have recognized that my mind is just as big a part of this as what goes in my mouth, I LOVE the two week delay. It is the perfect motivator. It keeps me going when I don’t want to go anymore becuase it’s not working. Instead I negotiate, “We just have to make it two weeks…” While I am busy waiting to see change, Whola!, a habit is formed! How? you say. Well, it just so happens that it takes two weeks of consistent activity to form a habit. Coincidence? I think not.
You also have been perfectly content with simple whole foods and together we quell the crazy stuff. However, the Great Fat-Free Jello Pudding Binge of last week? Well, I forgive you for wanting it and I am sorry I bought it.
I would like to apologize for a number of things. The first being hating parts of you. Of course I wish my stomach were flat, and the inside of my thighs just a little less wobbly, but my real point of contention is my triceps (mostly out of pining for my old ones to come back.) I never experienced a tricep wobble until Italy early last year, but I HATE it. I just want them toned and for them to stay in their place. They are not weebles, so there should be no wobbling. Oh and the love handles…. those I have come to terms with, because I am pretty sure they aren’t going anywhere.
I am sorry and not sorry about Italy. Eat I did, Unhappy I was, but I learned a lot about myself. I learned what I need everyday to live a happy, healthy life. Plus, how was I not supposed to gain weight in Italy?
I am sorry I abandon you for love. I should know you will always be there, but when love comes a callin’, I just want to be loved, from the outside in. We will work on this, and someday, it will be from the inside out.
I want to thank you for the freedom you provide me. The ability to do what I want, when I want, and with whomever I want. Thank you for standing by me, or rather in me. You are truly loved, flaws and all.
I am also aware that I am young, and that, Body, we have a lot more stuff to go through. This very letter might be Cringe-worthy by the time I am forty, but if I feel this content with you in 20 years, then I know we will be okay.