Tag Archives: dating

try dating boring: part two

23 Aug

Read try dating boring: part one



He texted and called, and I responded like a normal person.

He always answered so matter-of-fact-ly, that I actually mentioned to Mandy that I was couldn’t get a feel for his sense of humor. He didn’t want to play with me, there was no banter back and forth, and that was red flag #1.

So we scheduled a date over the phone, and I mentioned that I lived downtown, and I listed a few places I go every now and then and few of my favorite parts of town, and he didn’t seem to know about any of them. In fact, he had never been to whole neighborhoods within San Diego, and he GREW UP HERE. Red flag #2.

We settled on my choices, because he kept saying “I like to do something on a date” and “We can’t go there, there is nothing to do.”  Hmm, wonder why? Well, I don’t.

Date night started out with a brisk walk from my apt, to a bar to buy tix to a local comedy show (I paid), followed by appetizers at a restaurant nearby. I had to WAIT for him to order a beer, before I finally said, “I am getting a Sierra Nevada, do you want a drink?”

We swapped likes and dislikes, career and family info, and he ordered sweet and spicy shrimp as an appetizer. I am not kidding you, I literally watched him choke these down. Apparently he doesn’t “like” spicy food, it upsets his stomach, and he flinched with every bite of shrimp. They were covered in the goopiest, sweetest sauce, that wasn’t the least bit spicy- and homeboy couldn’t hack it.

We grew up in San Diego, home of the dirty taco shop in a strip mall, and this guy was trying to tell me he doesn’t like burritos. Burritos – God’s gift to drunk people.  I was starting to think all he ate was WonderBread.

Then I mentioned I was up for a job in SF and it would be really cool to get it- “Great for my career,” I explained.

And his face dropped. Like I just told him his cat died or something equally as tragic.

So I continued on about how I didn’t know if I could get it, and how the interviews were practice, and how I just excited to see what came of it.

And his face stayed like that.

And I ignored it. Until I just couldn’t any longer. I said “Are you okay?” and he muttered something about everytime he meets someone they leave.

So, I ignored that too, and chatted on, relieved we had a comedy show in our future. The conversation never got slow, but I was a bit exhausted from pulling a lot of the weight.

Case and point: We chatted for a bit about our favorite items at Trader Joe’s. He said he really enjoyed this green juice drink, I raved about instant frozen rice that was perfect in three minutes.

His reply: “You know rice is bad for you, right?”

And all I could think was, “Hey, nitwit. I didn’t tell you if it was white or brown. Plus, what-the-eff- do  you want me to do with that comment?” Great conversationalist, this one.

So I giggled about it being brown rice and we moved on. I wasn’t even going to argue a point, should I have cared to think of one.

I beat him at finishing our respective drinks, and I was sipping mine… slowly.

I let him pay for apps, drinks, and my suffering.


try dating boring: part one

17 Aug

I met a boy at Trader Joe’s.

I had taken a day off in order to go camping with friends for my birthday. I was parked in front of Trader Joe’s where I grew up, and after running to Ralph’s, I attempted to reorganize all of the camping gear in the back of my truck.

He walked towards me between two passing cars, and suprised me. I said hey, mostly as a reflex. And he asked what I was doing.

I was packing my car for a camping trip with my friends.

He asked if I did this often, I said no, with a little giggle.

I asked if he was from around here, and he said yes.

He asked if I wanted to hang out sometime, and I said sure.

He stood there looking blankly back at me, before I asked him if he had his phone, and he muttered something about not doing this often…

We chatted while I packed my car, then demanded he help me load the ice into the coolers if he was just going to stand there.

I was excited about my new prospect & that I got picked up in the parking lot. Way random.

non-response: cheating edition

3 Aug

he sent: “thought you would like this juicy bit of news jack and jill went ring shopping… hope you are well :)”

my non-response: “wow. looks like all of you are good at being in shitty relationships.”

he would have said: “you were in the relationship too.”

my non-response: “no. you and I were completely different relationships.”

I haven’t heard from Refuses in 9 months, and he sends hope. you. are. well?  I deleted.



28 Nov

Refuses ruined it, and all I want to do it wait it out.

my heart hurts.

free pass

14 Apr

I feel like I have my friends back. And for the first time, I felt like I am not the only one that sounds ridiculous when you get dumped.

That’s the thing though, about being dumped, or left, or brokenhearted, you get a free pass (or 15). You get a free pass to cry in a crowded restaurant, to commandeer the conversation with stories about how great things were.

You get a free pass to eat ice cream on the couch, to not save face, over and over again. You get a free pass to expect ridiculous things from someone you know better than anyone else, from someone you know would never do those things .You get a free pass for all of those hopeful thoughts.

You get a free pass and you dont really have to use them wisely, but rather, irrattionaly.

You get a free pass for all of the time you invested and for all of the love you gave. You get 15 free passes for all of the hurt that you never thought you would be in.

And you get a free pass for figuring out your life, because right now you dont really need to. Just figure out yourself.

And just know that for all of those free passes, one day, you will be done and you will have realized that you moved on.

Just don’t hold your breath.

grace in small things twenty six

21 Oct

5. It is almost fall. That means there is still summer weather in San Diego, but I get to apply my dark purple nail polish to my toesies and not feel out of season. Yay!

4. Coats.

3. There will probably be a new boy by Christmas… err, hopefully by Easter?

2. Concerts, concerts and more concerts.Ohh I cannot wait for all of the swooning over lead singers, and the dancing.

1. 45 minute conversations with my brother. He is my anchor, time and time again.


19 Feb

So my girlfriends from college and I post regularly to a website in order to stay in touch, and most of the time I post something I have written here or retell a new story.

Today, said this:

AND I have a boyfriend, I think. Which means I am feeling
CLAUSTROPHOBIC as we speak and contemplate breaking up with him
everyday. Do you have to break up with a guy that you weren’t sure you
were dating? And then my sister friended him on fb and ohmygod CAN YOU
FEEL THE WORLD CLOSING IN ON ME? It is getting dark. Quick. Where is
my secret escape hatch?
How did this happen? How do I stop it? and when did I become such a

Can I just say that I threw them all into a tailspin even though I was kind of kidding. I am not being smothered, but rather being confronted with the idea of having to let someone care about me again, and over here: THIS IS ME SHAKING IN MY SHOES.

Silently, of course. We hang out all normal and I’m not so scared when Refuses is around. But, holy hell, do I over analyze everything.

It is nice to know I am so cared for by them though. They don’t want to see me hurt, they want to see me flee at the first sign of trouble, but I can’t do that. I am here to test my limits. My limits mean that I need to try. I need to throw myself in it. I need to not be scared or I will be just as scared for every man that comes along.

I am ready to do this. I wish they had just heard my laughing, joking voice through the Interwebs. I was being dramatic.

Oh, and I really liked being single. I was fun and free and loved every little morsel of my own little life.
I am just scared that part of that love will get transferred into loving him and that is not okay with me. I worked hard for that solid, dependable part of me.

Let’s not eff it up!