Tag Archives: family

grace in small things: forty

22 Nov

5. I am getting the itch to bake. Something cheesecakey and pumpkin-y and delicious.
4. Validating the emotion, not the logic.
3. Tomorrow night with the boy. Love is kind.
2. I might get to go to the garment district in LA. That could be cool.
1. Thanksgiving leftovers might help my budgeting this month!


homey feeling

11 May

I was thinking a lot this week about what feels like home to me. I think this changes as my life changes, but this last weekend really encompassed a lot of the little items that make me feel or think about home.

1. Political or smart conversation around the dinner or breakfast table.

2. Best friends visiting. They just get you. She even bought me tank tops from the American Apparel sale when she was out shopping and I was at brunch with my family!

3. Clothes on my bed. It’s a standard, and I don’t see them going anywhere anytime soon.

4. Swim practice. Burying my head in the water for an hour feels like home for my body.

What feels like home to you?

years of misfortune, and a hint of opportunity

29 Mar

hey there,

Drum Roll please? (I would do it myself but I have no rhythm ((which is not good for giving BJs, or so I have been told))

I got the job! I will be teaching little kids how to swim this summer. While I won’t be making a ton o’ money, or working a ton o’ hours, it should help out just enough to ease some of the financial strain I have been harboring these last couple months.

But it was/is/forever will be in the name of paying off my debt, and I have already paid off $1,575.00 buckaroonies since January. Strain for gain, people, strain for gain.

And while I gained a little part-time gig on the side, my dad lost his big paying job that supports the whole family, two houses and helping my other sister finish college to layoffs and this shitty economy. And frankly, people, I am not taking it that well.

After months (years?) of hearing about the tanking economy, getting my dream job in the middle of it, and thanking god that it hadn’t really touched me or my family, here we are, smothered in second jobs and layoffs.

My dad deserves better, and has a strong-enough network that he should be back on his feet in no time, but I am sad for him. He was doing so well, for us and his wife, and he seemed to be pretty content with his life.

He takes care of so many people (myself included), that I just want the best opportunity possible to come from this. To explode out of the shit hole that is this economy and sweep him off his feet. I wish for him, a happy prosperous future, full of love and work and all-together happy.

grace in small things: thirty two

18 Mar

5. We ran hills. I’m pretending to be graceful about it.

4. I drank hard for St. Patrick’s day, and all I can say is Amen. It was about damn time.

3. Ms. Dash Teriyaki Marinade on chicken. Awesome. Edible. Delicious.

2. Sisters.

1. The patience to deal with a crazy time suck at work.

little one

19 Oct

the littlest big things you don’t know about me:

  1. My youngest sister passed away when I was 10. She was 4 years old and died of brain cancer.
  2. My parents divorced shortly after.
  3. I lie all the time and say that I only have 2 brothers and a sister, although I really had 2 sisters. It still feels like a lie 13 years later.
  4. I miss her a lot, and still talk to her every once in a while.
  5. I believe in heaven and angels, if only for her.
  6. When I was younger I used to talk to her nightly, and pretended she was in guardian angel school, training to be someone else’s guardian angel.
  7. I have trouble imaging what it would have been like to have her when we were being shuttled between my parent’s houses in the midst of the divorce. I can’t decide if it would have been better or worse.
  8. We used to write a note, tie it to balloons and let it go every year on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. Some years were harder than others.
  9. I can’t imagine what my parent’s must have felt. They must have wanted to die themselves.
  10. I still get envious when I hear my friends talk about younger siblings that would be the same age as her. They have no idea how much it stings.
  11. She would have turned 19 years old last month.

grace in small things twenty four

27 Sep

I am feeling lucky, and happy and maybe a bit hungover from a crazy-ass weekend.

5. Thankful that UCSB taught me to play beer pong very well. It is a skill that has impressed the male-sort on many occasions.

4. I only barfed once this weekend. So thankful, because it could have been much more than that.

3. Pants went out of town. All the good shit goes down whenever one of my closest friends leaves. Strength in un-numbers?

2. We are throwing a Halloween party and my bee costume fits!

1. My sister kicks ass, and she’s got the body to prove it. She completed a 20 day backpacking trip with her boyfriend. I would say hanging out with your BF for twenty straight days would kill you, let alone doing it in the wilderness and hiking 15 miles a day. Plus, she lived off of shitty camping food they carried in and was basically hungry for 17 days.

fighting words.

21 Sep

I want the will power to visit my mom and not get in a fight. I want the will power that when she screams, I respond calmly and don’t fight back.

I want the will power to not disagree when it really doesn’t matter.