because sometimes I forget.
“The silver lining about the guy thing is that it’s better to have
someone show you they want out now rather than not have the guts to do
it and then tell you in three more years. He showed his true colors
and that means you now know that he wasn’t good enough for you.
You’re an extraordinary person, so you deserve to have an equal
partner, not one that has no balls (throwing his infidelity on you).
So in the mean time you get to fun free and the right one will come
your way down the road.
It stings right now, sometimes to the point where you want to throw
up, but we all know it gets better and then eventually you know it was
for the better.
Character building son!!!!!”
he sent: “thought you would like this juicy bit of news jack and jill went ring shopping… hope you are well :)”
my non-response: “wow. looks like all of you are good at being in shitty relationships.”
he would have said: “you were in the relationship too.”
my non-response: “no. you and I were completely different relationships.”
I haven’t heard from Refuses in 9 months, and he sends hope. you. are. well? I deleted.
All you can do is move forward.
I miss all sorts of things that were never really there.
The nicest boy I have ever dated treated me the worst.
I like Sunday. I kind of forget what it was like to have my own.
I spent so many Sundays with Refuses, that they seem quieter now.
I loved those mornings, missed the way the sun fell on the sheets, missed the way we would pick up morning coffee after our morning runs.
Just a little missing in the middle of an entire Sunday that is mine.
I just want to cry. and I just want to be comforted by his smile.
And I just want to believe again.