Because only crazies are at the coffee shop at 10:30 PM.
Because I still love Third Eye Blind after all these years. They bring me so much peace.
Because I have gone for 5 days without coffee. Way weird.
Because I saw the same guys at the aforementioned coffeeshop that were here last night at 2:30 AM. Wait, does that make me weird?
Because I am excited for therapy.
Because Refuses works against me sometimes, when he tries to protect his family
Because work is getting weirdly hard.
…in one conversation
There is a contentness among us. I tell Refuses weekend after weekend that I am always suprised at how easy and comfy our relationship is.
And he told me how content he is at work. We are both content with where we are, yet we are in two different places. How is that even possible?
And then there is the places conversation. I want to go somewhere together, but I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want to move to LA. So we (and by we, I mean I) start listing off cities- cities that don’t really matter because our jobs haven’t taken us there yet, and we have no reason to move.
But we talk. And he says “Well, we are both due for carreer changes in the next couple of years, so why don’t we just let it happen?”
And this is how we are content. I plan for the impossible, for the blurry future, and Refuses smacks it away with calms words and replaces it with the present that I love.
Lately, I find myself thinking about what it means to be a woman, a good amount of the time.
And here’s why:
I am hornier than my boyfriend. and it’s not the first bf I’ve had a “bigger appetite” than. (Fortunately, he is very accommodating.)
I need a raise and am too scared to ask. So I keep running tapes of “Women get paid 74 cents for every one dollar a man works” and “Men get paid 25% more than women for doing the same job” over and over in my head telling myself that I don’t want to be another statistic.
I, officially, now, one day a week, dread putting on make-up and “getting ready”. But after being so gross at swim all day Saturday, the last thing I want to do is come home to curl my hair.
I know these are all based in stereotypes, but my own thinking about them makes them valid, at least in my head.
Is there anything on your radar lately that makes you feel more or less, like a lady?
5. Nasal spray. Gross but Amen, all at the same time.
4. Someone slightly older than me at work, that does what I want to be doing. She is awesome for career advice and pep talks.
3. Not being hungry during the expensed lunch at work, meant that I got to take my food home for FREE dinner!
2. Gatorade. Yummy.
1. Downloads- and to hoping they work. And for IT departments- for fixing them when they don’t.
I am taking a CPR class through the Red Cross. And bless the Red Cross for educating America on CPR and First Aid. But, lordy, are some people dumb.
There I was (naively) thinking that graduating college signified the last time I would ever have to listen to someone raise their hand in class, only to comment and repeat exactly what the professor said.
“I’m sorry. Did you have a question?”
“Then put your gosh-darn hand down!”
And leave it to Mister Comment Man to be the only one in the whole stinking class to not GET IT at the end of the 4 hours. Too busy formulating his comments and anecdotes in his pea-brained head to listen to the instuctions.
3 seconds, then breathe, idiot.
Dear Mister Comment Man,
Please do not be within a 50 mile radius of me, in the off chance that I require CPR. I will take my chances on the woman that mistakenly sat in the CPR class instead of the First Aid class for 15 WHOLE minutes, despite the teacher indicating which class this was three times, and her name NOT being on the roster.
Fearfully weary of the general public
Have I told you about my second-job?
I did it, I landed weekend work- to go with my weekend boyfriend and my weekend workouts.
I hope my weekend friends won’t mind. Kidding, kinda.
Anywho, I have dedicated Saturday & some Sunday mornings to teaching little ones how to swim. Supermans, blowing bubbles and neon rings now have an official spot in my life. Odd. I never saw it being this way.
But it is worth it to have a little extra money coming in, and a little extra worry going out.
Drum Roll please? (I would do it myself but I have no rhythm ((which is not good for giving BJs, or so I have been told))
I got the job! I will be teaching little kids how to swim this summer. While I won’t be making a ton o’ money, or working a ton o’ hours, it should help out just enough to ease some of the financial strain I have been harboring these last couple months.
But it was/is/forever will be in the name of paying off my debt, and I have already paid off $1,575.00 buckaroonies since January. Strain for gain, people, strain for gain.
And while I gained a little part-time gig on the side, my dad lost his big paying job that supports the whole family, two houses and helping my other sister finish college to layoffs and this shitty economy. And frankly, people, I am not taking it that well.
After months (years?) of hearing about the tanking economy, getting my dream job in the middle of it, and thanking god that it hadn’t really touched me or my family, here we are, smothered in second jobs and layoffs.
My dad deserves better, and has a strong-enough network that he should be back on his feet in no time, but I am sad for him. He was doing so well, for us and his wife, and he seemed to be pretty content with his life.
He takes care of so many people (myself included), that I just want the best opportunity possible to come from this. To explode out of the shit hole that is this economy and sweep him off his feet. I wish for him, a happy prosperous future, full of love and work and all-together happy.