I was thinking a lot this week about what feels like home to me. I think this changes as my life changes, but this last weekend really encompassed a lot of the little items that make me feel or think about home.
1. Political or smart conversation around the dinner or breakfast table.
2. Best friends visiting. They just get you. She even bought me tank tops from the American Apparel sale when she was out shopping and I was at brunch with my family!
3. Clothes on my bed. It’s a standard, and I don’t see them going anywhere anytime soon.
4. Swim practice. Burying my head in the water for an hour feels like home for my body.
What feels like home to you?
I have a new one, and I have had many. They are different, special, and frankly, some were mistakes.
Early on, there is this excitement and fire that makes everything move faster, that makes you take one hurried step after the next.
You aren’t sure how it will end, if you will even make it to the end, but at some point you are sharing things about yourself you never thought you would tell anyone. Especially while grasping for quick, desperate breaths.
You connect, every move together, and you rearrange your schedule to be together. You work through the pain together.
You pick up the pace, but slow down at times. Sometimes nothing tastes as good as a tall, cool drink of water.
You second guess yourself. Guesstimate how much time you have left on this path
And finally, they push you to the edge until all you want is for it to be over. You run the race and you go your separate ways, because you simply have little else in common.
Can you? I am running this half marathon (despite the fact that I don’t have enough money to pay for the race until my next paycheck). Please hope with me that it doesn’t sell out, because then I will cry.
Daylight Savings time is just around the corner- which means running! after work! In the daylight!
Ah! I can feel it already. I feel better about myself, and am excited for summer! and work (a little), and I am eating a little differently.
What are you doing that’s a little different? Are you loving it?
5. A sudden burst of inspiration genius regarding new projects.
4. Someone actually may be able to help me with my “new projects”
3. I applied to that mystery part time evening/weekend job that I never thought I’d find.
2. Now if only I could land it.
1. My eyes being all blurry after a crazy spin class. Battle against the bf weight: 1. Eyes:0
I am here, in today, and worked out and sang and made fabric-covered buttons. FABRIC-COVERED BUTTONS.
I was driving today, and I realized that it was the first time in a long time that I had said out loud “I miss him.”
Instead of being sad or disappointed that the thought crept up, I was excited that so much time had past, elated that the thought made me realize how proud I am of myself.
I may not have loved him outwardly, to my friends or family, but I showed him time and time again. The opportunity presented itself to be special to someone, to be my best self for myself and for someone else. AND I DID.
Reluctantly, but I did. I came around. I was hurt too. I didn’t go, I stayed, and I was me the whole time.
He may not have been forever, but I didn’t really need him to be. I need me to be me forever, and right now, I really like that person.
I went to sleep last night at 7:30 pm, and woke up feeling like myself again.
I went to workout (and got my ass-handed to me by an awesome instructor) this morning.
Today I am going to hang out with a group of girls I hung out with before Refuses made an appearance, and I can’t wait to have fun with them again.
I am moving on today, demanding my old life, my old me back, and getting out of this funk.
From here on out I will be working out like I used to, eating like I just worked out, making plans like they are all mine, and living like my heart has never been bruised.
5. being 21. I like drinking, it seemed appropriate for this post.
4. Someone complementing me on how quickly I have caught on at work. In front of my boss.
3. My brother. Amazing.
2. cupcakes. ahh.
1. Gwen Stefani’s abs (currently regretting the cupcake.)